Essay

From Doing to Being

By: Mariann M. Jackson, 4/16/2012 9:41:19 PM

0 comments

    Four years ago I retired from my job to care for my husband who was very ill with throat cancer. He recovered from the cancer, then needed a triple bypass. Finally, at the end of the third year he was healthy and we were looking forward to living normally again.
    So, in June of 2010 I began what is now my real retirement. The first stage consisted of settling down and outlining the current situation and what I tentatively hoped to do now that I had choices. This was the transition time from Doing to Being and it wasn’t easy.
    There is an addictive quality to being in crisis for long periods of time. When the crises pass, withdrawal sets in. Grasshopper Mind comes to call and brings his relatives- Restlessness, Itchiness and Boredom. That’s when I invited Seneca to the party. He not only accepted, he stayed. No match for Seneca, Grasshopper Mind now only comes occasionally and leaves rapidly.
    My attraction to Seneca lay in his ability to grasp the problems we all face and have a pithy response to our weak efforts. His school is Stoicism, but in the original meaning, not today’s Webster’s definition. His muscular and common-sense approach to life’s irritations and tragedies are a welcome antidote. “A person is as miserable as she thinks she is,” he tells us. Also, “Difficulties strengthen the mind as labors do the body.”
    Being is very hard in this hyperactive world we live in. Doing and Having are the driving forces today. When one reaches retirement age, energy for Doing ebbs, and for some, the need for Having also diminishes.
    The most important thing we have is our spirit, soul, the thing that defines us as individuals. Seneca advises us to ask ourselves if our spirit is better today than it was when first given us. Have we grown, learned about ourselves? What do we need to know now in order to flourish during this last span of years allotted us?
    Seneca assures us we need never be deviled by idleness, boredom or isolation. Today I am a part-time ESL instructor working with women who put off their own education. It is impossible to express fully what deep satisfaction this brings.
    In addition to choosing our daily activity, we can also decide who we want to keep us company during this last stage of our journey. For me, it isn’t the idiots on TV. Instead, “There are households of the noblest intellects: choose the one into which you wish to be adopted.” (Seneca). Why not choose a household whose ideas and insights move us forward into peace and acceptance of our daily life?
    It is my hope that those nearing or in retirement will find as noble and helpful a friend as Seneca, and as rewarding an activity as empowering others to improve their lives and their communities as I have.
(Quotes from Seneca On The Shortness of Life, Penguin Books)

Changes In Life

Becoming the woman you were meant to be

Menu

News Letters

Essays

Blogs

Sites for Women Writers